I pull no punches about my intentions. The art of getting a stranger's phone number will forever be perplexing. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. Either way, best of luck to anyone who tries this. Do the olden ways stand up to today's modern superjackoffery? But do you want a girl who is all vulernable and pathetic? I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis; I'm just sharing information. As with all things, though, we must ask: Is newer better? If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole.
I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. I've seen guys do this from across teh way. No this isn't a lubricant for sex. Start join an internet dating site today and find your love of your life. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it. These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials.
Masturbatory scientists have been at it for a long time heh. Playing games is a fast way to lose a girl for good. Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Women are often afraid of being too forward, so the courting portion of the relationship is mostly up to you. I start right away with my soft touching and small kisses then I escalate as fast as I can. To let her really know that I mean business I put her hand right on Big John.
Too often, a man feels like he has to be someone different in order to get the girl of his dreams. Especially because giving out your number is something you can't take back. Polish your personality and image, but stay close to your roots. At least you'll always have someone to share a post-coital cigarette with. That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges. I start nudging at her clothes to try to get her to help me get her clothes off. I'm not saying there's anything inherently sexy about ham.
Still, an industrious-yet-lonely man with a boner is basically a sexual MacGyver. There's no denying that throughout the history of men finding inventive ways to get a girl's number, there have been some truly cringe-worthy attempts. What would those other 399 things feel like if they were jerking your gherkin? Of course, you could just trust she'll be impressed with your above-and-beyond efforts to be different and give you her number on her own. You don't have to be all shaved and bald down there, but at least trim it back nicely. Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know.
You pulling it out does not mean im gonna touch it. So with that in mind, I have decided to put my very body on the line to help you, fellow jackers, determine just what is the best method of wanking. Turn the screen toward her and smile. Have you smelled deli ham lately? I don't have a degree in anthropology or dick tuggery, but I am an amateur in both. The rest will be math she does herself. Look, we're not dumb, if we're dressed super sexy we know why youare talking to us. I always wonder about guys i've hooked up with who seems to do pretty well with the ladies and are totally all hairy down there.
Unless you change your number, of course, but nobody's done that since middle school. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower. If you just went on a date and want to call her the next day, do so. Has technology improved the wank? Her number, in this example, is 547-4387. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal. Sure, if you're dying of a terrible disease, you can go to a hospital for treatment with modern medicine, but some people still like the idea of using herbs to clear up a sucking chest wound.
I'm not saying you can't use turkey, or even tofurky, if you swing that way. Point is, you wrap warm meat around your cyclopean flesh carrot, and strum away like Clapton performing his final concert. The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. She'll also be typing everything into her own phone's calculator. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. The other issue here is one of balance. This dimension is, of course, autonomy.
I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done. It amazes me to no to end how moronic guys are when trying to score with women. Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater? Remember things she says in passing so you can talk about them later and show you were listening. So be an on-your-best-behavior version of yourself.